Hello friends!
I write to you from the Novotel lobby at Christchurch airport, where an archetypal New Zealand fog has shrouded the ground and grounded my shroud. A pair of unattended children run wild across the lobby, no doubt peaking off their tiny noggins on sugary breakfast treats, as inoffensive jazz wafts about the teardrop-scrotal lighting fixtures and a piggy middle-management businessman slurps a macchiato while texting his mistress. Therefore, my friends, until Tāwhirimātea, the mighty Māori god of weather deems me once more worthy of air travel, we can settle TF in for some long overdue substackery!
I’m sixteen months into the First Banana world tour, and there’s only eight performances to go. What a magical time in the life of a show! A humming 75(ish) minutes of finely tuned jokes and gestures - rhythmic perfection on a good night - I’m at my most playful with the delivery and my least patient with the crowd. The good people of Christchurch copped my felty wrath right in their bewildered Canterbury faces last night after one too many ‘helpful’ interjections from overzealous audience members. Read the room you chatty fucks.
It’s been a genuinely incredible year and a half on the road, and despite my previous slanderous comments about the Otautahians from last night, I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has made it out to see First Banana. I am pinch-me levels of humble at the number of people who came to the shows, and punch-me-in-the-throat grateful for the response it has received around the world. I’ve said it on stage before but not sure if I’ve committed it to text - I am very proud of the audience I have somehow managed to cultivate. Venue staff, surly-ass security guards and my cavalcade of opening acts all regularly comment on how sweet and enthusiastic a Randy Feltface audience is. I love our little weirdo community and I thank you all for being a part of it.
So… what’s next?
I’m already writing a new hour, because I’m hoping to work myself into an early grave, and I’ll be doing a few work in progress shows in Melb and Sydney (on sale soon), before a run of US dates across October, November and December (on sale now). I’ll then launch the new show in all its polished glory across the world in 2026! More about that later…
Also! I filmed First Banana in Brooklyn last month and it’s shaping up to be a pretty fkn sweet looking special. No idea on a release date yet, but you’ll be the first to know where and when you can see it!
That’s all for now my friends. Stay safe out there.
Much love,
RF••
Substackery is a very satisfactory word to get your smacker round
Randy, I loved seeing you in Brooklyn last month. So…do you wear boxers or briefs? I’m kinda hoping boxers😀