Hello my dear paid subscriber friends!
Look… I could justifiably open with a felty-heartfelt apology for the wild inconsistency of this subscription service, but I hate to admit defeat in an opening gambit.
Does this so called ‘monthly’ newsletter, by virtue of its lack of monthlyness, appear to be some kind of online scam? Have you fallen victim to a devilish scheme whereby I collect $5 a month from a handful of overly-trustworthy comedy dedicatees to fund my growing reliance on matcha lattes? Did I forget this Substack even existed? Possibly. And yet… And yet, my dear paid subscriber friends, and yet, we’re all still here.
Except for the people who have recently cancelled their subscriptions.
Between you and me, I was deliberately holding off on posting in order to weed out the non-believers. It worked! A handful of them have officially left the party. And now, as those flakey vagrants are loitering on the curb of our Substack, waiting for a virtual Uber to whisk them off to a more “reliable” subscription, the rest of us can safely get on with the task of monthly updates, special offers and the occasional zoom call or whatever.
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